Solar Power

This business was supposed to be in a new section on the website, but never went up. So here it is for you! Text written by MWGG blog contributor, Orion.

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FOR—THE SUN
AND HER NEW ALBUM: I’M HOT, I’M BRIGHT, I AM THE LIGHT

*About the artist, by the artist herself--

Listen up, girlfriends, ‘cause I’m about to drop some knowledge on all of you. No matter how you spin it-- I am a Super Star! I am the sizzlin’ hot, solar sister whose talent makes all life possible. You all know me. You all love me. And none of you can live without me.

I am the Sun.

Throughout all of time, many cultures (my die hard fans out there) regard me as a deity, with such names as Sol, Surya, Helios, Ra, Apollo and many, many more. Now I like to do my best to be humble, and keep it real, but can you blame them? I mean, please don’t hate, but I am the biggest, brightest, most brilliant object in the sky. Nothing outshines me.

For those few who don’t know me--- where have you been? I’m HUGE! My celestial body accounts for 99.86% total mass of the Solar System. And I’m HOT! My core temperature is 27,000,000˚ F. Yup. 27 MILLION degrees!!! Hold a candle to that.

Wanna know the secret to my Super Solar Power? Nuclear Fusion baby! Every second I convert 700,000,000 tons of hydrogen to about 695,000,000 tons of helium and 5,000,000 tons of energy in the form of gamma rays. And I don’t even break a sweat.

Impressed yet?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. I may not technically be the center of the Universe, but I am the center of yours. I’m out there working it everyday to provide all the energy needed to sustain life on Earth.

So while you’re kickin’ back and chillaxin’ as you bask in my radiant glory this summer, keep an ear out for my next new album: I’m Hot, I’m Bright, I am the Light. I promise it will be hotter than hot cause that is how I roll.

Too Hot to Handle,

The Sun